You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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