Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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