So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Let's get the cat blown out
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
