i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
