yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Randomize
