How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We left the knife in your bed.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
