Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
