After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
