Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
