My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
