white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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