Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
