I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
