whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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