he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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