I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
