She is in my trunk
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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