I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
