FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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