I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Duck Duck Cougar?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
