I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
