I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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