i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
