I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
