i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
