i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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