it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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