Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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