did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
