considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
