My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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