Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Randomize
