Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Randomize
