he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
