there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize