she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
