did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
