You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
