11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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