how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
handjob tips. give me some.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
