I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
