I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
