Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
jump out the window naked night went bad
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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