I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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