my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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