I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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