She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We just shotgunned beers for America
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
