I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
