Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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