everyone is single if you try hard enough
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
