Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
