there was a trapeze. enough said
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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