community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The Olympian is in my bed
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
