Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
