You don't have asthma, your pregnant
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize