I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My pussy is not your playground.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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