All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
