Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize