Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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