Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
