discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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