I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
