Duck Duck Cougar?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
