His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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