It's like a parade of train wrecks.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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