Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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