Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
